On Wednesday, October 26th, the adoption was finalized and on Saturday, October 29th, Deklan Reese Clubb was sealed to us for time and for all eternity in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple in American Fork, UT.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
The Steps of Adoption
In addition to our attorney's name, Sarah gave us the name of a private social worker, Linda Hackett. Linda had done the home study that is necessary for an adoption. We called Linda and she set up an appointment to come by the next day, Monday. Linda is another blessing in our lives! She helped us get started quickly on the home study, and told us all the steps that would take place before the adoption would be final. She was such a joy to work with. Fun, kind and thorough. We were blessed continually with the right people at the right time.
Sunday, after we had officially received guardianship of Deklan, we went home and sorted through what we had for him. We had a few onesies, some sleepers, a package of diapers & a package of wipes, a container of formula and some bottles. Not much but a good start. We figured we would just get what we needed as we needed it.
That afternoon after church the doorbell rang. It was a couple that lived across the park from us. They had heard about Deklan and had brought bags of clothes for him to wear and some gifts. They helped us out so much! We even received breast milk from the wife's sister who had frozen a lot of servings and generously donated it to us. Having nursed all my kids, this was a huge blessing to me and brought me so much peace!
Our friend Sarah put the word out that we had a new baby and were ill-prepared. Our neighbors and ward members graciously stepped in with baby clothes, a swing, a baby chair, a baby bath, a high chair, a pak 'n play for him to sleep in, diapers, wipes, diaper ointment, etc. Some friends even brought meals! We were overwhelmed by the love and support of everyone. It touched us so much to be at the receiving end of such an outpouring of love and help when we needed it most. We will never forget those wonderful friends.
After 3 days, Deklan started to cry when he was hungry. We were so excited. We joked that he was turning into a 'real' baby!! Eventually he would smile when we talked to him, laugh when we would tickle him or blow raspberries on his belly, and cry when he was wet or tired...all of these things that are usually taken for granted! We were so happy to see that he was beginning to develop well and to gain weight.
Sunday, after we had officially received guardianship of Deklan, we went home and sorted through what we had for him. We had a few onesies, some sleepers, a package of diapers & a package of wipes, a container of formula and some bottles. Not much but a good start. We figured we would just get what we needed as we needed it.
That afternoon after church the doorbell rang. It was a couple that lived across the park from us. They had heard about Deklan and had brought bags of clothes for him to wear and some gifts. They helped us out so much! We even received breast milk from the wife's sister who had frozen a lot of servings and generously donated it to us. Having nursed all my kids, this was a huge blessing to me and brought me so much peace!
Our friend Sarah put the word out that we had a new baby and were ill-prepared. Our neighbors and ward members graciously stepped in with baby clothes, a swing, a baby chair, a baby bath, a high chair, a pak 'n play for him to sleep in, diapers, wipes, diaper ointment, etc. Some friends even brought meals! We were overwhelmed by the love and support of everyone. It touched us so much to be at the receiving end of such an outpouring of love and help when we needed it most. We will never forget those wonderful friends.
After 3 days, Deklan started to cry when he was hungry. We were so excited. We joked that he was turning into a 'real' baby!! Eventually he would smile when we talked to him, laugh when we would tickle him or blow raspberries on his belly, and cry when he was wet or tired...all of these things that are usually taken for granted! We were so happy to see that he was beginning to develop well and to gain weight.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Soul Searching
That afternoon we drove out to the house where the birth mother was staying. We had a friend who also came and acted as a mediator, since neither one of us (the birth mother nor Steve or I) had done this before or knew what to do! The birth mother brought out a tiny little boy and gave him to me to hold. He hadn't been changed in awhile and smelled of urine and spit up. The birth mother told us she had postpartum depression and couldn't take care of him anymore. The woman she was staying with told us he had been neglected and underfed. She worried for the baby's safety and had suggested the birth mother give him up for adoption.
As Steve talked to the birth mother about our individual family members, and our beliefs about family, I held the baby. He looked up at me intently, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt as if he was trying to tell me something. We looked at each other for a long time and I felt a strong desire to take care of this baby and a strong connection to him. I felt that he was trying to make me understand that he needed help and a family to love him. Steve also held the baby and was immediately overcome with emotion. He knew immediately that this was his son.
At the suggestion of the mediator, the birth mother told us we could take the baby overnight to 'babysit' and see how things worked out. We made an appointment to meet with her the next day, which was a Sunday.
We were given a car seat, a few items of clothing, some formula, and some diapers. As we drove away Steve and I looked at each other and at the baby, amazed at how things had turned out. We stopped at Target on the way home because we had nothing for a little baby. Our youngest at the time was 9 years old! We hadn't needed diapers in awhile!! We picked up diapers, some more formula, some onesies, diaper ointment and wipes.
When we got home we gave the baby a bath and all the kids gathered around to take turns holding him. He hadn't made a sound since the moment we met him and drank all of the bottles we fed him. He gazed at each person who held him with that same soul-searching gaze, as if he was trying to tell them something. He slept well that night but I didn't! He would not cry when he was hungry so I kept waking up to see how he was doing and to feed him.
We called our friend, Sarah, and she was amazed at how things had worked out but told us to contact her adoption attorney, Mary Jensen. She told us Mary was wonderful and would know exactly what to do. (She was right, Mary is not only an amazing attorney, but she loves doing adoptions and had great insight into children and their adoptive families. She is a kind, generous and loving person who worked so hard for us-going the extra mile when necessary and walking us through the whole process with her positive attitude. We love her!) Mary met us Sunday at the house where the birth mother was staying and started immediately on the paperwork and history with the birth mother.
The friend who was our mediator went and picked up the baby's birth father, who was living in Provo, and brought him to the house as well. Mary talked to him about his responsibilities for the baby, both financial, temporal, and emotional. He had a hard time letting go of the baby, even though he was unable to provide or care for the baby. He was homeless and had recently lost a second job. He also had problems with alcohol addiction and drugs. After talking to the birth mother and Mary, he signed away his rights to the baby. He loved the baby and decided that this was the best thing for him.
The mother who owned the house and had taken in the birth mother had some home teachers who stopped by to visit. They and Steve gave both the birth mother and the birth father a blessing. The Spirit was very strong in the room.
The mother and birth mother packed up the remaining baby items in a box and we then headed home. It was a dreamlike feeling. I had to keep looking at the baby to make sure it was all real.
When we got home we started brainstorming names with the kids. They made a list and we voted on it. Although Jaxson really wanted 'Percy Jackson Clubb', we decided on Deklan Reese Clubb. 'Deklan' in honor of our Irish heritage and the birth mother's Irish heritage, and 'Reese' for my dad.
As Steve talked to the birth mother about our individual family members, and our beliefs about family, I held the baby. He looked up at me intently, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt as if he was trying to tell me something. We looked at each other for a long time and I felt a strong desire to take care of this baby and a strong connection to him. I felt that he was trying to make me understand that he needed help and a family to love him. Steve also held the baby and was immediately overcome with emotion. He knew immediately that this was his son.
At the suggestion of the mediator, the birth mother told us we could take the baby overnight to 'babysit' and see how things worked out. We made an appointment to meet with her the next day, which was a Sunday.
We were given a car seat, a few items of clothing, some formula, and some diapers. As we drove away Steve and I looked at each other and at the baby, amazed at how things had turned out. We stopped at Target on the way home because we had nothing for a little baby. Our youngest at the time was 9 years old! We hadn't needed diapers in awhile!! We picked up diapers, some more formula, some onesies, diaper ointment and wipes.
When we got home we gave the baby a bath and all the kids gathered around to take turns holding him. He hadn't made a sound since the moment we met him and drank all of the bottles we fed him. He gazed at each person who held him with that same soul-searching gaze, as if he was trying to tell them something. He slept well that night but I didn't! He would not cry when he was hungry so I kept waking up to see how he was doing and to feed him.
We called our friend, Sarah, and she was amazed at how things had worked out but told us to contact her adoption attorney, Mary Jensen. She told us Mary was wonderful and would know exactly what to do. (She was right, Mary is not only an amazing attorney, but she loves doing adoptions and had great insight into children and their adoptive families. She is a kind, generous and loving person who worked so hard for us-going the extra mile when necessary and walking us through the whole process with her positive attitude. We love her!) Mary met us Sunday at the house where the birth mother was staying and started immediately on the paperwork and history with the birth mother.
The friend who was our mediator went and picked up the baby's birth father, who was living in Provo, and brought him to the house as well. Mary talked to him about his responsibilities for the baby, both financial, temporal, and emotional. He had a hard time letting go of the baby, even though he was unable to provide or care for the baby. He was homeless and had recently lost a second job. He also had problems with alcohol addiction and drugs. After talking to the birth mother and Mary, he signed away his rights to the baby. He loved the baby and decided that this was the best thing for him.
The mother who owned the house and had taken in the birth mother had some home teachers who stopped by to visit. They and Steve gave both the birth mother and the birth father a blessing. The Spirit was very strong in the room.
The mother and birth mother packed up the remaining baby items in a box and we then headed home. It was a dreamlike feeling. I had to keep looking at the baby to make sure it was all real.
When we got home we started brainstorming names with the kids. They made a list and we voted on it. Although Jaxson really wanted 'Percy Jackson Clubb', we decided on Deklan Reese Clubb. 'Deklan' in honor of our Irish heritage and the birth mother's Irish heritage, and 'Reese' for my dad.
Monday, December 5, 2011
A Feeling
One evening in 2010, the family was gathered in the Family Room. I had a strong feeling that someone was missing, but when I counted 1,2,3,4,5 kids and Steve, everyone was there. But I kept thinking about that feeling and that night I prayed that if there was someone that was meant to be in our family that they would be able to come, whether it was by a miraculous pregnancy (I was no spring chicken anymore!!), or by adoption, and we would welcome and love that child.
My good friend, Sarah, had adopted a little girl and was in the process of adopting a little boy. They talked about adoption and Sarah gave me lots of information to think about.
A few months later, in April 2011, Sarah's little boy was to be sealed to his family in the Salt Lake Temple and Steve & I were invited to attend. We had been talking about adopting and on the way to the temple we decided that if they were going to adopt they needed to get started with the process.
The sealing was wonderful. It was so special to see Sarah & Eric with all their children, dressed in white in the temple, as an eternal family. After the sealing we all went downstairs to the waiting room to gather for pictures. Sarah got a text message from her son's birth mother asking her if she knew anyone who wanted to adopt because she had a friend wanting to give up her baby. Sarah said she immediately thought, "The Clubbs", and told me it was as if someone had said our name to her. She looked up from her phone and saw Steve a few feet away. She walked over to Steve and asked him if he was serious about adopting a baby, because she had just got a text about a 6 week old baby that needed adopting. Steve walked over to me and said, "Sarah's friend knows a mother who is looking for someone to adopt her baby. What do you think?" I said, "Yes", and Steve went back to Sarah and told her yes, we were serious. An appointment was set up to meet with the birth mother that afternoon at the house where she was staying.
My good friend, Sarah, had adopted a little girl and was in the process of adopting a little boy. They talked about adoption and Sarah gave me lots of information to think about.
A few months later, in April 2011, Sarah's little boy was to be sealed to his family in the Salt Lake Temple and Steve & I were invited to attend. We had been talking about adopting and on the way to the temple we decided that if they were going to adopt they needed to get started with the process.
The sealing was wonderful. It was so special to see Sarah & Eric with all their children, dressed in white in the temple, as an eternal family. After the sealing we all went downstairs to the waiting room to gather for pictures. Sarah got a text message from her son's birth mother asking her if she knew anyone who wanted to adopt because she had a friend wanting to give up her baby. Sarah said she immediately thought, "The Clubbs", and told me it was as if someone had said our name to her. She looked up from her phone and saw Steve a few feet away. She walked over to Steve and asked him if he was serious about adopting a baby, because she had just got a text about a 6 week old baby that needed adopting. Steve walked over to me and said, "Sarah's friend knows a mother who is looking for someone to adopt her baby. What do you think?" I said, "Yes", and Steve went back to Sarah and told her yes, we were serious. An appointment was set up to meet with the birth mother that afternoon at the house where she was staying.
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